Unknown: Not Taken

I couldn't be more pleased that Liam - Darkman, Schindler, Aslan, Zeus - Neeson has somehow become the world's favorite action star. If I could flux-capacitate back and share this with audiences leaving Michael Collins they'd punch me in the face and throw me in a one way cab to Belleview. And yet, it's the case.

Neeson is launching himself into that strata of Euro-actors who takes film after film -- sometimes lending his clout to simple one-liners "RELEASE THE KRACKEN!" which the formerly "Sir" Anthony Hopkins shall do with this summer's Thor.

The old Grand Moff Tarkin move.

At the same time, Neeson is headlining would be crummy action movies that are driving middle aged women crazy and are -- admittedly -- not half bad. The amount of street cred he gained with Taken was nothing short of astonishing. It wasn't a solid film by any means -- yet its undeniably entertaining. The world loved it. It's constantly on television and is the type of movie Mel Gibson would have (actually) killed to have chosen instead of the astoundingly unattended Edge of Darkness.

So here we are with Unknown which is raking in the dough and has audiences clamoring that they've found a new Taken. I'm here to tell you that couldn't be further from the truth. The plot holes in this thing are beyond compare. There's some sweet action -- I'll admit that. Diane Kruger is pretty excellent. And the best performance in the entire film is seasoned Swiss star Bruno Ganz -- perhaps best known for the recent Hitler film Downfall or the 90s masterpiece Far Away, So Close. With an actor like that, would you expect any less?

But my word is the storyline a stunner of repetitive, weak, forced twists and turns.

Neeson's screamed, "I'm Martin Harris!" borders on "Give me back my son!" and "Not without my daughter!" As a drinking game, it would leave audiences the world over fighting their way onto organ donor lists. There is literally an hour of film where Neeson yells that line at least once per scene. I'm going to go out on a limb and say, "We got it, Qui Gon."

If you're looking for something mindless to rent or netflix stream in the months to come -- perhaps consider it -- but this is not something one needs to hurry to a multiplex to enjoy. In fact the only redeeming line of dialogue is when amnesiac Neeson screams "I haven't forgotten how to kill you a**hole!"

Other than that, my review Unknown is this: Corn?

- Matthew J. McCue